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“Not only would I not get married until everyone else can, I kind of am starting to get appalled by anybody who would get married in this day and age. Anyone who considers themselves for equal rights — to get married right now, seems very odd to me.”

- Sarah Silverman

From CNN via Jezebel.

So I’m minding my own business, studying at my favorite bookstore coffeeshop, when I look up to give my eyes a break and what do I see?  This:

Exclusive! “TIGER: Raw, Never-Before-Seen Photos! by Annie Lebovitz”

Ahh, yes, always one to bring the scandal (remember the Miley Cyrus / Billy Ray Electra controversy last year?) I am not surprised to see Ms. Lebovitz has a hand in this.

“The MYSTERY of a SPORTS SUPERSTAR we thought we knew”

What is going on here.  Do I think that Tiger’s affairs should be cover material?  No, but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles, isn’t it.  I don’t see why any celebrity (or politician) sex scandal deserves front-page anything, save for our human voyeurism.  But how is it that after all the scandal Tiger still comes out as an Adonis?

I can’t even think of a role-reversal example of this to compare it to.  We typically are left with the aftermath of a husband-gone-wild and a wife in shambles, where Mr. Wild Oats comes across as the bad guy.  It is rare that we see as much attention paid to scandals of Mrs. Wild Oats’s adventures of her own.  But, if we did, I think it’s safe to say that Mrs. Wild Oats would play the role of slut/whore/bitch and not be featured on the cover of fashion magazines as a brooding sexual object only months after the debacle.

And yet, there Tiger is in all his shirtless, weight lifting glory (where are the golf clubs?), with Never-Before-Seen Photos! and an Exclusive! insight into the MYSTERY of the man we “thought we knew.”  Please.  Vanity Fair will do anything to move their lavatory literature.

Can you think of any examples of women in Tiger’s position that come out on top?

A number of hopeful stories in the news this week:

Human Rights Campaign Announces Comprehensive Campaign to End Failed “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Law
From HRC:

“The Commander in Chief sent a clear message tonight that in a time of war, what matters is that our men and women get the job done – not whether they’re gay or straight,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese. “Our ‘Voices of Honor’ campaign will bring about much needed action to end this law that the vast majority of Americans oppose.”

Research Shows Two Gay Parents Are Better Than A Single Straight One
From io9, Full scientific article available via Journal of Marriage And Family.

Anti-gay marriage activists have argued vigorously that children need a mother and father. Now a new research study shows that kids do need two parents — but that gender doesn’t matter… finding that it’s ideal if a child is raised by two parents who are “responsible, committed, stable,” but that the gender doesn’t cause radical differences.

Florida allows third gay adoption
From UPI.com via Jezebel.

A Florida judge allowed a lesbian to adopt a child while an appeals court decides whether the state’s ban on gay adoptions is unconstitutional, records show.

Huge LGBT Family Law Victory in PA
From Feminist Law Professors via Jezebel.

For some time now, the Pennsylvania courts have been relatively good at handling legal issues involving lesbian and gay families. For example, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court has interpreted state adoption law to permit second-parent adoptions, and it has applied the in loco parentis doctrine to allow a former same-sex partner with no legal connection (e.g., through birth or adoption) to a child of the relationship to nonetheless obtain custody or visitation.

This is all great news, and shows that even though a lot of battles haven’t gone so well, some are still being won.  The war to extend equal rights to all U.S. citizens rages on.

Keep fighting the good fight, everyone.

Diablo Cody has done it again, folks.  The United States of Tara is complex, smart, progressive, and entertaining, and well worth your time.  The show is about a suburban family coping with the typical stresses of work, school, and relationships with a twist: Mom’s got four personalities.

Tara’s persona’s aren’t the most accurate representation of mental illness, although they do manage to use accurate terms: Dissociative Identity Disorder rather than Multiple Personality Disorder – something that Tara regularly has to correct others on.  Instead, her persona’s illustrate the various stereotyped roles women navigate – T, the wild, rebellious, and promiscuous teenager; Alice, the overly-sweet but passive-aggressive 50’s housewife; Buck, the grungy, rough and tough masculine side; and Tara herself who is trying to live a “normal” modern life with her husband and two children while coping with a buried childhood trauma that led to the development of these personas.  As Tara gets closer to that lost memory a fourth alter arises: Gimme, the animalistic child.

But the show isn’t just about Tara.  It’s about family.  Read the rest of this entry »

Law & Order: SVU has quickly become my newest obsession (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Thank you Netflix Instant queue! – I should get paid for this), and I have been thrilled to learn that actress Mariska Hargitay is every bit as awesome as her character, Detective Olivia Benson, who could probably fill a 10 Reasons of her own.

1. She’s got her head on straight when it comes to body image:

“I’m a size 8, and I feel proud of that because it’s healthy.  I’ve never felt compelled to be a skinny actress.  I think I’m a very attractive person, but that’s not where I get my esteem.  A guy at ABC told me to change my name and get a nose job.  I said, ‘You get a nose job.’”

2. Although SVU is often challenging, it has inspired her.

“It’s opened my eyes to the plight of victims. And helped me find new ways to make a difference in the world. Without SVU, I would’ve never started the Joyful Heart Foundation.”

3. Yeah, about that Joyful Heart thing…

“I used to call myself the “accidental activist.”  No more.  I have fully engaged in this mission.  It is part of my path, one of the reasons I am here.”

4. She is proud of her character.

“I thought the character was extremely complex and would be a challenge for me as an actor. The second I read the script, I was drawn to Olivia’s strength, passion, humanity, and her desire for change. But what most intrigued me was her past and how she could use it to help others face theirs.”

Click here for 6 more reasons to love Mariska

Wait, what?

So we already know that Meghan McCain, daughter of Senator John McCain, is a rebellious republican who supports gay marriage, but now his wife, Cindy McCain, is speaking out as well.  From the No H8 campaign:

Aligning yourself with the platform of gay marriage as a Republican still tends to be very stigmatic, but Cindy McCain wanted to participate in the campaign to show people that party doesn’t matter – marriage equality isn’t a Republican issue any more than it is a Democratic issue. It’s about human rights, and everybody being treated equally in the eyes of the law that runs and protects this country.

File this under “Things that make you go ‘hmm…’” – but in a good way.

Shoutouts to feministing for this one!

Today’s installment of Sick Sad World comes to us via Sociological Images.  Once again, I encourage you to check out Human Rights Campaign, Courage Campaign, or any other group that advocates the extension of marital rights to all citizens if what you see isn’t what you’d like to.  If you are involved in other groups with similar goals, please feel free to list them in the comments!

Somehow gay marriage became a threat. And, by 2004, many states had passed resolutions making it illegal. Note that they needed to do so specifically because the possibility of legal gay marriage had gained support for the first time in (recent?) U.S. history. This was, essentially, a backlash against gay marriage that proved that pro-gay marriage initiatives were gaining ground, even as states moved to counter them.

Sociological Images rules.  Hatred and discrimination shouldn’t.

I pretty much have no words for this, but if you are as outraged, disgusted, and pissed off as I am about it, you can get involved with national groups and local chapters of groups like the Human Rights Campaign and the Courage Campaign.

.

From The High Definite via Feministing.

I’ll admit that I typically don’t give crime shows a fair chance.  Something about horrific crimes as entertainment rubs me the wrong way, and when sex gets rolled into the mix it seems like a recipe for disaster.  But I gave Law & Order: Special Victims Unit it’s chance, and let me tell you – I was pleasantly surprised (thanks Netflix instant queue!).

I still believe strongly that sex and violence are a dangerous cocktail, but SVU handles the topics with class.  The violence, although sexual, is never sexy, and the bad guys are almost always clearly bad (exceptions include child perps and false accusers).  Stranger rape, date rape, marital rape are all treated with equal seriousness (a level of respect we often can’t even expect from our own local news), and more controversial topics such as sexual orientation, sex work, and patient-doctor confidentiality and spousal privilege are handled with care.

Furthermore, the female characters on the show are complex, intelligent, and self-sufficient.  On top of this, their counterparts are possibly the most decent men I’ve seen on television in a long time.  Detectives look out for each other regardless of gender, and there is a sense of camaraderie and caring that has nothing to do with genitalia.  For instance, knowing Detective Benson’s sensitive history with her father (all she knows about him is that he’s the man who raped her mother), Detective Stabler calls out a coworker who made an inappropriate joke about the subject.  He does this discretely and out of a desire to protect his partner, not a poor sensitive woman, and Det. Benson watches Stabler’s back with an equal amount of respect and concern when his buttons are pushed.

Although Det. Benson is still in the minority as a woman detective on the unit, she is quickly replacing Special Agent Dana Scully as my favorite woman in uniform.  She is always the defender of justice, warmly and kindly comforting the victims of the atrocities featured on the show while giving the Ice Queen a run for her money when she gets alone in the room with a perp.  The various ADAs across seasons (nearly always portrayed by women) are equally cool and collected and fantastic at their jobs.

One of the most unique themes that I’ve noticed in watching, however, is the clear and direct condemnation of misogyny.  Many of the perps on the show target women (prostitutes, girlfriends, wives, strangers) because they are women.  One of the ADAs sets out to be the first lawyer to successfully convict a rapist of a hate crime.  The hatred and loathing these criminals (and occasionally cops) have for women illustrate the most vile misogyny that can be imagined – and they way that it is portrayed is as disgusting and loathsome as it really is.

Although there isn’t a great deal of ethnic diversity on the team and no significant address of ablism, the competent women on the show are a breath of fresh air, as are their respectful and admirable coworkers – men as allies in “women’s issues” fights are too sparse on television.  The women are still held to a higher standard as far as the limited variety in body image portrayed and the requirement that they are still able to demonstrate a sensitive and nurturant side that is more acceptably absent in male characters, but I’m willing to argue that Law & Order SVU is a pretty feminist-friendly show.  And with 11 seasons under its belt, I’m impressed that it has been given the chance to put these images and messages out there for so long.

Shoutouts to the post at Bitch blog that addressed this a little while ago.  Follow their (and my) advice and give it chance if you haven’t yet!

“Like many of you who live in New Jersey, I’ve been following the progress of the marriage-equality legislation currently being considered in Trenton. I’ve long believed in and have always spoken out for the rights of same sex couples… I urge those who support equal treatment for our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters to let their voices be heard now.”

- Bruce Springsteen

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