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This post is a soapbox, but bear with me.  I didn’t hide it behind a cut because it’s not something that I feel like I should hide behind a cut, in my mind, my life, or my blog.  I beseech you to stick with it, it was an important experience for me.

Yesterday I gave a lecture on sex to 250 college students at a college that is 80% LDS (Latter Day Saints aka Mormon).  Then I gave it again to another 250 students.  The night before my lecture I did some feminist reading to pump myself up.  This was apparently a bad idea, as I proceeded to pass the night restlessly, having nightmares about my lecture turning into a riot over abortion.  The class wouldn’t listen to me, and parents of kids from my high school youth group harassed and condemned me.  Whoa.

The lecture itself went fine (both times).  About two thirds of the students attended, and probably only 8-10 got up and left in the midst of the lecture (less than when I gave the same lecture last semester).  A handful stayed after each period, some to challenge what I had said (which is both fair and welcome), and others to shake my hand and thank me for discussing what is here a very (very) taboo subject.

The lecture begins with myths and truths about sexual motivation factors, such as hormones, drugs and alcohol, erotic materials (porn!), attraction to partner, cultural values and meaning, and evolutionary perspectives.  Part two of the lecture targets sex crimes: the differences between sexual assault (umbrella term for many sexual offenses) and rape (specific form of sexual assault).  I discuss prevalence rates, stats about the relationships between victims and rapists (stranger rape vs. date rape, acquaintance rape, marital rape, etc.).  I emphasize that rape is about power and control and their arousing properties, not sexual desire, citing the example that in this state the youngest reported rape victim is 2 months old, the oldest 94 years.  I discuss how to help a survivor, what to say, what not to say, and list campus and community resources.  Then shit hits the fan.

Some people leave when I bring up porn.  Some people leave when I indicate that rape is not a rare crime.  But the real exodus begins when we start discussing sexual orientation as a spectrum rather than a binary system.  I discuss the differences between biological/physical sex and gender identity.  I discuss the differences between sexual identification and sexual orientation or attraction.  I discuss how these constructs don’t always “match.”  Then we experiment with the Kinsey scale, discussing the possible 0-6 ratings of a series of individuals in vignettes (including research findings that suggest greater arousal to gay porn in homophobic versus nonhomophobic straight men – another exodus from the classroom) to illustrate the point that fitting people into boxes isn’t as easy or effective as we’d like.  Next, I ask students to generate a list of factors that they consider to be involved in determining sexual orientation.  What makes someone gay?  What makes someone straight?  I don’t ask students to discuss these ideas out loud, because things get wildly out of hand when this occurs.  Instead, I discuss the evidence for and against elements like environmental, biological, and cultural factors.  I conclude that these research findings suggest that “reparitive therapy” – attempts to cure someone of same sex attraction – is not possible, and does more harm than good: a stance that is supported by numerous professional associations including the American Academy of Pediatrics, American Psychological Association, and National Association of Social Workers.

Is it a perfect lecture?  Certainly not, and I’d give just about anything for the department to let me teach the sex and gender class (which is offered only once every-other year).  But its worth it.  Terrifying at times, but worth it.  And once I’m up there talking about sex, sharing new perspectives, and shaking up taboos I love it.  I love the students that stay after to ask more questions respectfully.  I love the students that shake my hand and thank me for introducing and briefly discussing rape and GLBTQ issues respectfully.  I love that I can create an atmosphere for 50 minutes in which students can feel safe.

But yesterday there was a moment that I didn’t feel safe.  Between the two lectures an older gentleman in the second section approached me about what he heard during the tail end of the first lecture.

“So this is a lecture about being gay, then,” he said.

“Actually, it’s about sexual drives -” I began.

Dude: “Are you gay?”

Me: “- sexual motivations -”

Dude: “Are you gay?”

Me: ” – sex crimes -”

Dude:  “Are you gay?”

Me:  “Will you let me tell you what the lecture is about?”

Dude:  “Will you answer my question?”

By this time other students were trying to get the guy to back off.  “Why does it matter?” they kept asking him.  I held my own – I explained what the lecture was about, that the professor had asked me to present on these topics (Dude: “This is not in the syllabus, you know that?  This is not in the course description,” repeat x10), and that he was not by any means required to stay.  He kept asking if I was gay.  He wanted to know my “angle.”  I wish I had said “Sir, would you feel comfortable answering that question with such interrogation?”  I wish I had said “Sir, can you explain to me how that is relevant?”  Instead I said “I’m currently in a committed relationship -” he has a knowing and disapproving look on his face “-with a male.”  Commence eyes bugging out of said dude’s head.  I continued, “I have never been in a relationship with a woman, but I see no problems with that.”

He concluded that I was an “advocate” (apparently that’s a bad thing?) and proceeded to inform me that this information is not in the textbook (it is) and won’t be on the test (it may) and is not outlined in the syllabus (neither is classical conditioning, Freudian theory, or a multitude of other specific Psych 101 topics), and that he would be leaving.  I thanked him (and thanked god that that was over and I wouldn’t have to put up with him through the next 50 minutes).

Students thanked me after class for this and apologized for their classmate.  I was happy to face off with him – defending my sexual orientation or my beliefs about sexual orientation is something that I rarely have to do and a burden that I will gladly bear when I can in the hopes that others might not have to, even for five minutes.

Was is as bad as my nightmare?  No, it was fabulous.  It was empowering.  It was inspiring.  But it sucktd that that could happen.  It sucks to be bullied by a student.  It sucks to face off with hatred, because it sucks that that kind of hatred exists.

Straight from io9, who said it better than I could:

Big, beautiful, lusty women. Gorgeous, gigantic, muscled men. Fantastic animals and larger-than-life settings. This is the wonderful world of Molly Crabapple: the woman who married art and burlesque and watched them make beautiful music together with Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School.

Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School is an amazing event. Roughly twice a month (in the NY location) artists come to sketch live models, but not just any live models, actual cabaret performers. Skits, performances, music, all kinds of festivities. So much more than just a bunch of artists sketching models.

The World of Molly Crabapple contains artists and performers from all walks of life. Her vibrant images capture happy, smiling people that we’d like to get to know. Not just the most beautiful women around but also circus performers, muscle-men and lots of other interesting characters. You will notice that many of these pieces show their subjects on stage, with adoring fans surrounding them.

As you can see… Molly likes to put lots and lots of characters into her work. An image is packed with detail. You can look at these pictures all day long and still not see all the cool touches in them.

Pretty flippin’ sweet.  Be sure to check out more of Molly’s work at her personal site,  and learn more about Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School.  Mad shoutouts to io9 for this one!

It’s like Lady Gaga is doing something new and fabulous every time I turn my computer on.  I love it.

“Everyone has that… phone call of, “Oh my gosh, you won’t believe what I did last night. I was so stupid I didn’t use a condom,” and there’s all this laughter on the phone… I’ve gotten those phone calls, and it’s our job as friends to one another to say, “I don’t know why you’re laughing because it’s very serious. I really don’t feel there’s enough women who are educated about AIDS, how quickly it’s spreading, how dangerous it really is, how many people really have it, and we want to do good jobs as women who represent a sexual community and a strong independent group.”

For reals.  Too.  Cool.  I love how she’s using her fame to get important social messages across, and how she’s blowing everyone away in the process.  It’s like people thought pop stars couldn’t use their brains on their own.  Let’s shake it up!

More on their campaign at MAC Cosmetics, and additional coverage from Jezebel.

Lady Gaga fascinates me.  She makes me think.  I often find myself wanting to defend her, to whom I’m not sure.  I think she puts me on edge, makes me wonder why she does what she does, and I always come up with a self-satisfying answer.  Take her fashion statements for example.  They’re often… weird, to say the least.  They are revealing, bizarre, and often unattractive or even kind of hideous.  She does not dress like we typically expect our pop star/sex icons to dress.  And in an avant-garde, art club/theater kid misfit kind of way, that’s cool.  But I think it’s more than an angsty rebellion.  Lady Gaga’s fashion choices often make statements about how our society dictates female beauty.

Lady Gaga is thin, white, blonde, hairless…  She’s got the body of the pop star/sex icons of the last decade (Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, P!NK, Fergie, Mandy Moore, Jessica Simpson, Gwen Stefani… you know the mold), so she’s not scoring major points by presenting us with a new body type.  But what she does with that body is unusual.

Exhibit A: Body Shape

Despite having that “perfect” bod, Lady Gaga frequently distorts the way we see her body, using sharp angles, increasingly large shoulderpads, and poufs or wings to accentuate her hips.  Each of these things in moderation have been considered attractive/fashionable at one point or another, but the extremes to which she takes them have a distracting effect, creating a mismatched, unnatural body shape.

Read the rest of this entry »

Always ready to piggyback on social events, PETA was on top of things this week with their 2010 “State of the Union Undress.”  It’s offensive, objectifying, and irritating so I’m not embedding, and I’m not even linking.  If you really want to see it, you’ll find it, but the screencap should give you a clear enough idea of their theme:

Choice lines include (emphasis theirs):

“A hopeful country looks on while a new leader strives to arouse in us our passion for a better future.”

“As the health care debate rages in Congress, we have urged Americans to take matters into their own hands [actress caresses own breasts] with a healthy vegan diet.”

“While the deficit goes up, our fight for animals goes on … and when necessary, our shirts come off.”

“It has always been our policy to show people as much as they need to see in order to make them … stand at attention.”

Yeah, this goes on for a while.  PETA has used innumerable tasteless and despicable tactics in the past to make their points (badum-cha – you activists aren’t the only ones who can manipulate the double-entendre), so I can’t say I’m surprised. The site includes both a safe-for-work and uncensored version of their “speech.”

It also includes links to the 2008 speech, which featured a white model, presumably because we had a white president at the time, and a link to their Slideshow of Naked Campaigns Worldwide.  Classy.

‘Cause you know, nothing says “I believe in the equal status of all creatures” like objectifying women in the name of animal rights.  Pathetic.

Shoutouts to Emily of Jukebox Heroines for the tip!

Panty predicament?  Fear not.  Cosmo’s got your back (lower back, if you know what I mean).

Classy.  Because not only do I need a magazine to tell me which undergarments to wear, I need them to be named after the underwear of children of the opposite sex, and I need them to make my butt look like someone else’s butt. The article begins:

A little more than 10 years ago… wearing a thin strip of fabric between your butt cheeks was considered daringly sexy.

Are we supposed to pretend that Cosmo didn’t tell us that thongs were “daringly sexy?”  The article goes on about the history of the thong and other “man-melting undies” – which might actually be interesting if it was about women’s fashion for women’s sakes, and not just as lures for mates.

But, that’s why I subscribe to Bitch and Bust and not Cosmo.  Thanks Jezebel!

5:00 Edit: The timeline of underwear at the bottom reminded me of this:

I’ll admit that I typically don’t give crime shows a fair chance.  Something about horrific crimes as entertainment rubs me the wrong way, and when sex gets rolled into the mix it seems like a recipe for disaster.  But I gave Law & Order: Special Victims Unit it’s chance, and let me tell you – I was pleasantly surprised (thanks Netflix instant queue!).

I still believe strongly that sex and violence are a dangerous cocktail, but SVU handles the topics with class.  The violence, although sexual, is never sexy, and the bad guys are almost always clearly bad (exceptions include child perps and false accusers).  Stranger rape, date rape, marital rape are all treated with equal seriousness (a level of respect we often can’t even expect from our own local news), and more controversial topics such as sexual orientation, sex work, and patient-doctor confidentiality and spousal privilege are handled with care.

Furthermore, the female characters on the show are complex, intelligent, and self-sufficient.  On top of this, their counterparts are possibly the most decent men I’ve seen on television in a long time.  Detectives look out for each other regardless of gender, and there is a sense of camaraderie and caring that has nothing to do with genitalia.  For instance, knowing Detective Benson’s sensitive history with her father (all she knows about him is that he’s the man who raped her mother), Detective Stabler calls out a coworker who made an inappropriate joke about the subject.  He does this discretely and out of a desire to protect his partner, not a poor sensitive woman, and Det. Benson watches Stabler’s back with an equal amount of respect and concern when his buttons are pushed.

Although Det. Benson is still in the minority as a woman detective on the unit, she is quickly replacing Special Agent Dana Scully as my favorite woman in uniform.  She is always the defender of justice, warmly and kindly comforting the victims of the atrocities featured on the show while giving the Ice Queen a run for her money when she gets alone in the room with a perp.  The various ADAs across seasons (nearly always portrayed by women) are equally cool and collected and fantastic at their jobs.

One of the most unique themes that I’ve noticed in watching, however, is the clear and direct condemnation of misogyny.  Many of the perps on the show target women (prostitutes, girlfriends, wives, strangers) because they are women.  One of the ADAs sets out to be the first lawyer to successfully convict a rapist of a hate crime.  The hatred and loathing these criminals (and occasionally cops) have for women illustrate the most vile misogyny that can be imagined – and they way that it is portrayed is as disgusting and loathsome as it really is.

Although there isn’t a great deal of ethnic diversity on the team and no significant address of ablism, the competent women on the show are a breath of fresh air, as are their respectful and admirable coworkers – men as allies in “women’s issues” fights are too sparse on television.  The women are still held to a higher standard as far as the limited variety in body image portrayed and the requirement that they are still able to demonstrate a sensitive and nurturant side that is more acceptably absent in male characters, but I’m willing to argue that Law & Order SVU is a pretty feminist-friendly show.  And with 11 seasons under its belt, I’m impressed that it has been given the chance to put these images and messages out there for so long.

Shoutouts to the post at Bitch blog that addressed this a little while ago.  Follow their (and my) advice and give it chance if you haven’t yet!

Not much of a contribution of my own today, but check out these cool recent posts from other bloggers (props to Laura at Adventures of a Young Feminist for the formatting inspiration):

An analysis of Purity Balls at Jezebel:

Why is the focus solely on getting girls to protect their “purity” and so little on preventing boys from violating it? After all, I think the term “purity balls” would be much more appropriate for Christian males who pledge to remain virgins. But aside from that, there’s a laundry list of reasons why I think purity balls are not only ridiculous, but harmful to the females who are pressured into participating in them.

Part 2 of Jukebox Heroines’ defense of my girl Gaga:

Now, I know there will be some Gaga haters out there, and still others who think her and feminism are like oil and water. They never mix. Nope, sorry, they do. Those who will chid her feminism based on how she looks or the style of music she writes are guilty of the same sexism they propose to be fighting. Judge not by the outfits one wears, but by the content of their character!

A list of the top 10 best films for women in 2009 from Stiletto Revolt:

2009 has provided a lot of opportunities for female filmmakers and has brought some breakout female performances in unlikely places. A variety of films addressed women’s issues with depth, clarity, and honesty this year. After watching marathons of movies, both poignant and compelling, a compilation of the best was born.

What else have you been reading?

I have fallen in love with Lady Gaga over the past month, and this post from Jukebox Heroines on the feminist themes in her music was too awesome not to share.  If you are interested in cross-posting or guest-posting at feministhemes.com, please contact me with your ideas at misswizzle@feministhemes.com.

Lady Gaga – The Fame (2008) on (Streamline/Konlive/Cherrytree/Interscope)

Part 1:

Oh snap. Yes, I just said it. Lady Gaga’s music is feminist. Why do I say such things? Because I can back it up. And because I love her music, videos, and persona. She is the reason I have actually started to listen to pop music again. So, let me tell you about feminist music….

Why do I say that her music is feminist? Whether or not she herself claims to be a feminist, her work criticizes gender, sexuality, the body, pop culture’s representations of women, and the nature of power. This in itself is a feminist act. Now, feminism, I guess we must define in some form, considering most representations of it are: man hater, bra burner, lesbian, ugly, want power over men, bitchy, hate children…..not true. Feminism is the political and social movement for women’s social, political, and economic equality. In that social part lies music, and Lady Gaga knows exactly what she is up against in the music industry. Feminist Music therefore, can be made by anyone, male/female/trans, as long as it fulfills the goals of fighting for equality and justice based on gender.

How does she present feminist ideas? I will give you a few examples. Read the rest of this entry »

“Yes, at this age it’s unusual for somebody to do a love scene, to be making love…. [But] It’s authentic. The whole idea that you have to look a certain way and be a certain age to earn love is ridiculous. We love what we love. It doesn’t matter what shape it is. It’s thrilling to see real people on screen.”

- Meryl Streep

Actress Meryl Streep on her performance in the upcoming film, It’s Complicated.  From Times Online via Jezebel.

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