feministhemes.com

A friend of mine has been keeping me up to my ears in links, and they’re of quality material so I figured, why not share the wealth?  However, all of this information can be pretty overwhelming, so what can you do?  First, share this information with other people in your lives – and not just the feminists: we know this and how important it is, so pass it on to someone who might not otherwise be thinking about these issues, too.  Secondly, get involved. College campuses usually have student advocacy groups, and communities often have sexual assault and domestic violence shelters that can always use free help.  You can volunteer as a crisis call advocate or get involved in educating the community about rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, and healthy relationships.  You can also contact your local congresspeople and senators and advocate for more attention to be paid to the rape culture that extends to the military.  But most importantly, don’t forget about this a few days after you read the articles.  Empower yourself and others by facing the facts and working towards change.

56% believe some rape victims partly to blame for attack [the independent]

Dr Jan Welch, clinical director at the Haven in Camberwell, south-east London, said: “Unfortunately, women have bought into the idea that sometimes the rape victim is to blame. Under no circumstances is a woman at fault for being raped.  Coping with the emotional trauma of rape or sexual assault is made even harder when the victim is made to feel responsible for what’s happened.”

Violence against women is justified, says pupil study [bbc news]

A study of schoolchildren has found that most of those questioned thought violence towards women was acceptable if there was a reason behind it.  The majority of the pupils said it was justified if the woman had an affair, or if she was late in making the tea.

Myths That Make It Hard To Stop Campus Rape [NPR]

What Lisak found was that students who commit rape on a college campus are pretty much like those rapists in prison. In both groups, many are serial rapists. On college campuses, repeat predators account for 9 out of every 10 rapes.

Women at war: How roles are changing [bbc news]

“You’re supposed to carry your weapon at all times in a combat zone,” she said.  “But I put my weapon down and walked away to smoke a cigarette and that was when I was attacked.”  She was then dragged behind some power generators and raped.  “If I had kept my weapon maybe I would have been able to prevent it,” she says.  “But if I had used it I would probably have ended up in jail.”

This post is a soapbox, but bear with me.  I didn’t hide it behind a cut because it’s not something that I feel like I should hide behind a cut, in my mind, my life, or my blog.  I beseech you to stick with it, it was an important experience for me.

Yesterday I gave a lecture on sex to 250 college students at a college that is 80% LDS (Latter Day Saints aka Mormon).  Then I gave it again to another 250 students.  The night before my lecture I did some feminist reading to pump myself up.  This was apparently a bad idea, as I proceeded to pass the night restlessly, having nightmares about my lecture turning into a riot over abortion.  The class wouldn’t listen to me, and parents of kids from my high school youth group harassed and condemned me.  Whoa.

The lecture itself went fine (both times).  About two thirds of the students attended, and probably only 8-10 got up and left in the midst of the lecture (less than when I gave the same lecture last semester).  A handful stayed after each period, some to challenge what I had said (which is both fair and welcome), and others to shake my hand and thank me for discussing what is here a very (very) taboo subject.

The lecture begins with myths and truths about sexual motivation factors, such as hormones, drugs and alcohol, erotic materials (porn!), attraction to partner, cultural values and meaning, and evolutionary perspectives.  Part two of the lecture targets sex crimes: the differences between sexual assault (umbrella term for many sexual offenses) and rape (specific form of sexual assault).  I discuss prevalence rates, stats about the relationships between victims and rapists (stranger rape vs. date rape, acquaintance rape, marital rape, etc.).  I emphasize that rape is about power and control and their arousing properties, not sexual desire, citing the example that in this state the youngest reported rape victim is 2 months old, the oldest 94 years.  I discuss how to help a survivor, what to say, what not to say, and list campus and community resources.  Then shit hits the fan.

Some people leave when I bring up porn.  Some people leave when I indicate that rape is not a rare crime.  But the real exodus begins when we start discussing sexual orientation as a spectrum rather than a binary system.  I discuss the differences between biological/physical sex and gender identity.  I discuss the differences between sexual identification and sexual orientation or attraction.  I discuss how these constructs don’t always “match.”  Then we experiment with the Kinsey scale, discussing the possible 0-6 ratings of a series of individuals in vignettes (including research findings that suggest greater arousal to gay porn in homophobic versus nonhomophobic straight men – another exodus from the classroom) to illustrate the point that fitting people into boxes isn’t as easy or effective as we’d like.  Next, I ask students to generate a list of factors that they consider to be involved in determining sexual orientation.  What makes someone gay?  What makes someone straight?  I don’t ask students to discuss these ideas out loud, because things get wildly out of hand when this occurs.  Instead, I discuss the evidence for and against elements like environmental, biological, and cultural factors.  I conclude that these research findings suggest that “reparitive therapy” – attempts to cure someone of same sex attraction – is not possible, and does more harm than good: a stance that is supported by numerous professional associations including the American Academy of Pediatrics, American Psychological Association, and National Association of Social Workers.

Is it a perfect lecture?  Certainly not, and I’d give just about anything for the department to let me teach the sex and gender class (which is offered only once every-other year).  But its worth it.  Terrifying at times, but worth it.  And once I’m up there talking about sex, sharing new perspectives, and shaking up taboos I love it.  I love the students that stay after to ask more questions respectfully.  I love the students that shake my hand and thank me for introducing and briefly discussing rape and GLBTQ issues respectfully.  I love that I can create an atmosphere for 50 minutes in which students can feel safe.

But yesterday there was a moment that I didn’t feel safe.  Between the two lectures an older gentleman in the second section approached me about what he heard during the tail end of the first lecture.

“So this is a lecture about being gay, then,” he said.

“Actually, it’s about sexual drives -” I began.

Dude: “Are you gay?”

Me: “- sexual motivations -”

Dude: “Are you gay?”

Me: ” – sex crimes -”

Dude:  “Are you gay?”

Me:  “Will you let me tell you what the lecture is about?”

Dude:  “Will you answer my question?”

By this time other students were trying to get the guy to back off.  “Why does it matter?” they kept asking him.  I held my own – I explained what the lecture was about, that the professor had asked me to present on these topics (Dude: “This is not in the syllabus, you know that?  This is not in the course description,” repeat x10), and that he was not by any means required to stay.  He kept asking if I was gay.  He wanted to know my “angle.”  I wish I had said “Sir, would you feel comfortable answering that question with such interrogation?”  I wish I had said “Sir, can you explain to me how that is relevant?”  Instead I said “I’m currently in a committed relationship -” he has a knowing and disapproving look on his face “-with a male.”  Commence eyes bugging out of said dude’s head.  I continued, “I have never been in a relationship with a woman, but I see no problems with that.”

He concluded that I was an “advocate” (apparently that’s a bad thing?) and proceeded to inform me that this information is not in the textbook (it is) and won’t be on the test (it may) and is not outlined in the syllabus (neither is classical conditioning, Freudian theory, or a multitude of other specific Psych 101 topics), and that he would be leaving.  I thanked him (and thanked god that that was over and I wouldn’t have to put up with him through the next 50 minutes).

Students thanked me after class for this and apologized for their classmate.  I was happy to face off with him – defending my sexual orientation or my beliefs about sexual orientation is something that I rarely have to do and a burden that I will gladly bear when I can in the hopes that others might not have to, even for five minutes.

Was is as bad as my nightmare?  No, it was fabulous.  It was empowering.  It was inspiring.  But it sucktd that that could happen.  It sucks to be bullied by a student.  It sucks to face off with hatred, because it sucks that that kind of hatred exists.

I’ll admit it – I’m a sucker for SyFy original movies.  The wild plots, hyper-hyperbole, and fantastically noticeable CGI crack me up and hook me at the same time.  Two of my personal favorites include Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus and High Plains Invaders (which happened to star Buffy’s James Marsters as a wild-west sharpshooter killing giant alien-insect-robots in shoot’em ups).  But I’m willing to argue that their recent Alice in Wonderland tribute was actually pretty good, and not just for laughing at.

I’ve always loved Alice in Wonderland. Alice is typically portrayed (and pretty accurately to the book) as a little girl whose adventures in Wonderland primarily consist of her allowing things to happen to her or eating and drinking strange items simply because their labels tell her to.  At worst, this makes her appear foolish and as though she needs a protector, at best this makes her a compliant little girl.  But something about the fantasy and adventure and the fact that Alice is rarely shaken by her experience has always appealed to me.

SyFy’s Alice takes it to a new level.  Alice is now a young adult teaching karate classes and navigating the dating world.  When her new boyfriend Jack gives her a special family ring, she finds herself falling through the looking glass into Wonderland.  Here she sets out (with the help of the Hatter) to rescue Jack and escape back to her world.  Although Hatter really wants to be Alice’s hero, she often ends up using her karate skills to help them escape and really holds her own throughout the movie.  Hatter just wants to save Alice, but Alice is set on saving Jack (a nice twist on the “damsel in distress” trope). Spoilers, more analysis and a little bit of romance after the jump.

So I stumbled across thatsnotcool.com yesterday over on the Bitch blog, and thought I should pass it along.

Relationship and friendship control and abuse has all kinds of new ways of affecting the younger generation, and the more tech savvy we are the more forms of harassment emerge.  But, thatsnotcool.com has a bunch of great resources for teens and young adults coping with these new problems, including videos, discussion forums, and advice for individuals who are or know someone who is being abused.  Topics include “textual harassment,” “pic pressure,” “privacy problems,” “rumors,” and more.

I highly recommend checking it out for yourself, whether you or someone you know needs these tips right now or night, chances are sooner or later this is going to be a relevant concern to someone in your life and it never hurts to be prepared.

The following stats from the Center for Disease Control’s latest report are pretty sick (emphasis mine):

• 1.2 million cases of chlamydia were reported in 2008, up from 1.1 million in 2007.  Nearly 337,000 cases of gonorrhea were reported.
• Adolescent girls 15 to 19 years had the most chlamydia and gonorrhea cases of any age group at 409,531.
• Blacks (12% of the U.S. pop.) accounted for about 71% of reported gonorrhea cases and almost half of all chlamydia and syphilis cases in 2008.  Black women 15 to 19 had the highest rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea.
• 13,500 syphilis cases were reported in 2008, an almost 18% increase from 2007.  63% of syphilis cases were among men who have sex with men. Syphilis rates among women increased 36% from 2007 to 2008.
• 19 million new sexually transmitted infections occur each year, almost half among 15- to 24-year-olds.

And this includes nothing about rates of other diseases or unplanned pregnancy rates.  What is going on with sexual and reproductive health in the US?  We’re so busy getting riled up about the Stupid Stupak amendment (as well we should) that we continue to ignore the issues of comprehensive sex ed and funding for reproductive health service provides, such as Planned Parenthood, which in my humble opinion are preventative solutions to these increasing numbers.

After all the hype, coverage, and controversy regarding Teeth around the feminist blogosphere, I had to add this to my marathon list.  I’ll admit, I was worried.  Would it be as scary as I had convinced myself it would be?  Would it be overly gross?  Would there be too much sexual assault?

Whether or not Teeth has been the scariest film I’ve watched for our Halloween Movie Marathon, it has certainly been the most disturbing in many ways.  It made me laugh, it made me cringe, it made my stomach turn, it made me feel empowered, it made me feel angry.  Consider this your warning: Brace yourself for some pretty graphic themes and plenty of spoilers after the jump.

“I used to judge myself so harshly. I think women in their 20s do. You’re hard on your body,
you’re hard on yourself. But you start to realize that none of it is really all that important.
As long as you’re comfortable, the best parts of yourself come through no matter what.
Your mother can tell you that a million times, but you don’t understand it until you live it!”

- Reese Witherspoon

Reese Witherspoon is an American actress known for her roles in Pleasantville, Legally Blonde, and Walk the Line.  Quote from here.

Diablo Cody is like a Rorschach test for feminists.  Some women love her for being brilliant, courageous, subversive, and vocal; some women hate her for being trendy, scandalous, irritating, and loud.  Make of her what you will, I have a special place in my heart for any woman willing to rock animal prints as frequently as Ms. Cody does.

1. She uses the F-word fearlessly.

“My feminist hat is permanently welded to my head—I definitely can’t take it off! It’s so important for me to write things from the female perspective and in service of women and in the right roles for women. That’s usually what I’m thinking going into it. Obviously, the story goes first. But then my next priority is how am I going to sneak my subversive feminist message into this?”

2. She has priorities.

“I want to write roles that service women. I want to tell stories from a female perspective. I want to create good parts for actresses where they’re not just accessories to men…”

3. She calls ‘em like she sees ‘em.

“The attitude toward women in this industry is nauseating. There are all sorts of porcine executives who are uncomfortable with a woman doing anything subversive. They want the movie about the beautiful girl who trips and falls, the adorable klutz.”

Click here for 6 more reasons to love Diablo

She may be a fictitious character, but Donna Pinciotti is one bad dudette.  Whenever the guys are running their mouths, Donna is there to set them straight, and I like to think that her intelligence, outspoken attitude, and empowerment make up for their regular idiocy.  Just this week I saw the episode “Baby Fever,” which features some fantastic Donna moments.

In the episode, Kitty asks Laurie to watch an infant she is babysitting for a friend while she and Red visit the Pinciottis next door for fondue.  Laurie is inept at changing the baby’s diaper, and Donna steps in.  Eric is impressed with her maternal instincts and makes a bigger deal of her diaper-changing abilities than he did when she was published in the school paper.  Donna calls him out on this, but he doesn’t get it, telling her that it gave him warm fuzzies to think of what a great stay-at-home mom she was going to make someday.  Donna has other ideas.

In the end, Donna decides it’s too early to be having this fight with Eric, and they kiss and make up.  However, the fact that Donna thought about the issue, thought about her future, and shared her concerns with her friends (albeit in “the circle,” if you know what I mean) sends a pretty positive message to the teen and young adult audience the show is targeted to.  As reruns continue to air on The CW and TeenNick (formerly The “N”), I take pleasure in the idea that younger generations of women continue to be exposed to feminist role-models like Donna on TV.

Who are some of your other favorite TV feminists?

The Education of Shelby Knox is a fantastic glimpse into the battles high school students are forced to fight in order to receive comprehensive sexual education in an “abstinence only” education system.  Even more, the documentary lets us into Shelby’s world as she figureheads the battle from the dinner table to city hall, trying to understand how her spirituality fits along the way.

Shelby isn’t happy with her school’s abstinence only policy of sex education.  Her city of Lubbock, Texas has one of the highest teen pregnancy and STD rates in the country, but no one is willing to face the problem.  Through the Lubbock Youth Commission, Shelby and her colleagues fight for comprehensive education, until political pressure threatens to shut the commission down.  Shelby bounces back from defeat after defeat after defeat, eventually resigning from the commission, which has given up its goal of improving sex ed in school and refused to join forces with a GLBT movement fighting for similar freedom in the school.  Although her conservative parents don’t understand Shelby’s passion for these liberal causes, they do their best to support her throughout the film.

What touched me the most in watching The Education of Shelby Knox were Shelby’s conversations with pastor Ed Ainsworth.  “Sex Ed” preaches that college students have sex “like dogs,” that STDs can be spread through handshakes, and that condoms are ineffective in protecting against venereal diseases – in short, that sex is dirty and good Christians don’t have it, nerts to everyone else.  Shelby participates in a (creepy) True Love Waits ceremony with her parents, conducted by Ed, and has this decision thrown back in her face time and time again.  Shelby is clear that regardless of her commitment to wait, she believes her peers have the right to make informed decisions about their own sexuality.

I can identify with Shelby’s struggle to balance her beliefs about accepting, loving, and caring for others rather than judging and condemning them as her faith so often tells her to do.  Throughout high school I regularly butted heads with my youth pastor about issues of “tolerance” and the incongruence of liberal and Christian beliefs.  Shelby refuses to be shamed by powerful men in her community, such as her pastor and school superintendent, and holds her head high as she continues to fight for causes her community would rather not even hear about.  I’m of the mind that Jesus wouldn’t want us to choose between caring for each other and following him, but I have to trust that living a life that’s meaning comes from helping others will have to be good enough to get me where I need to go, even if churches and church leaders can’t understand it.

To find out what Shelby is up to know, follow her personal blog!

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